Quickie Sex Encounters

Too often we hear men and women both complaining that they just don't have time for sex. We all have so much to do that by the end of the day, once our weary heads hit the pillow, all we want is to be left alone. But this can become a bad and routinely habit!

Touching and communicating with our partners is very important. It helps us to reconnect with one another while at the same time connecting with our higher selves.

We don't necessarily have to take the time to put on just the right lingerie, light the candles, and make a big affair out of wanting some sexual attention. Too often people complain that by the time they make it to the bedroom, their mate is snoring away. That's enough to deflate anyone's libido! So, here are a few tried and true suggestions:

• Take care of your personal hygiene earlier in the day, before the family takes over and before you tire out. Then you can give yourself a quick swish before you hop into bed.
  
  
• Set the alarm clock 45 minutes earlier and have a glass of water on the bedside table. Freshen your mouth when the alarm wakes you and play with your mate. If you're self-conscious about your appearance.then do it spoon style, with your back to his front, or roll over to your tummy and let him .get you in the doggie position. Remember that his testosterone levels are at their highest point early in the morning! If you're groggy, use a little lover's lube and self-stimuli to help you to get going.
  
  
• Be spontaneous. Spontaneity is the spice of life. Get him right where he is, in the office, the lazy boy, or at the kitchen table or the hammock. Don't forget the shower! You are both naked already, warm, slippery and wet, a very sensual experience.
  
  
• The element of danger or getting caught turns many people on. If you're out on a date, give him a hand job or fellatio in the car.
  
  
• Enjoy mutual masturbation, is exciting and doesn't require much warming up time because we know how to get ourselves off quickly. Sometimes a little goes a long way. And by keeping our motors revved up we keep our libidos and subsequent life energy going and our connections to our mates strong and in tact.

Safe Sex

Erotic intimacy does not necessarily include sexual intercourse. In deciding whether to engage in intimate sexual relations, including intercourse, you may consider cultural, ethical, religious, moral, and psychological factors as well physical ones. Many people choose to abstain from sexual intercourse. People may choose varying levels of erotic intimacy. You should not feel pressured to engage in sexual intercourse or any other sexual activity; what is right for you is the level of sexual intimacy with which you feel comfortable, whether than means none, holding hands, intercourse, or any of a mind-boggling variety of other forms of sexual activity.

Deciding to become sexually intimate with a partner can be a big step to take in a relationship, especially since, for many people, having sex involves an emotional commitment as well as a physical one. The decision to become sexually intimate with another person must also be considered in light of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), many times infections may be asymptomatic, so someone may transmit the disease to another person unknowingly.

Becoming pregnant is also a fear in heterosexual relationships. Only a barrier method, like condoms or dental dams, can reduce the transmission of HIV and certain other STDs. Abstinence is the only completely effective method of preventing STDs, HIV and pregnancy. If you do choose to be sexually active, practicing safer sex, along with maintaining open communication with your partner, can reduce the risks discussed here. Engaging in sexual intercourse can potentially be scary or dangerous; discussing both the emotional and physical risks of sex and deciding with your partner how best to minimize those risks can be empowering and can make for an even more intimate sexual experience.

Safe sex doesn't mean eliminate sex from your life. What safer sex does mean is being smart and staying healthy, also means showing love, concern, and respect for partners and for self. Safer sex means enjoying sex to the fullest without transmitting, or acquiring, sexually related infections.

Swinging... or Cheating??

" I want to have a threesome exSperience and my wife said it was ok, but she didn't want to participate. How do I find a couple or a couple of women to party with?"

"Help me find two guys that I can meet during the day for some fun when my husband isn't home. I want to begin to be a swinger, and my husband thinks it is wrong."

Ok. this is not about judging or discouraging people from exploring a threesome or moresome experience. However, upon examination of the two statements above, it is clear that there are some less-than-noble attempts at pursuing extra-curricular sexual activity. This has happened as long as people have been alive and will continue to happen until the end of time. Some call it this swinging. Most call this cheating.

By definition, swinging is a couples activity, where both people in the couple are fully aware of and participate in swinging activities. Couples who have been a part of this lifestyle for a short while know the importance of communication. An honest and open discussion of feelings, expectations, and desires is important. Setting boundaries with each other and respecting the limits and desires of your spouse is essential in order for SUCCESSFUL and ONGOING experiences to happen.

Swinging is adult consensual activity with other people than your life's partner with the partner's knowledge and approval. In this context, swinging isn't cheating. cheating happens when full disclosure doesn't occur. When there is sneaking around and lying and guilt. there is cheating.

The two quotes used to start this article are from actual emails sent to this site. While I applaud someone's desires to explore sexually, I am not a fan of doing this behind the back of a spouse or life partner.

A healthy relationship that includes swinging activities includes communication. Every successful swinging couple will tell you that this is key. and once this is achieved, the lifestyle takes on a new dimension and becomes a fun and exciting part of life.

Part of the lifestyle is about learning about yourself and your partner. Jump into the swinging chat room to meet some great folks who are curious or who have experience! Lifestylers are a chatty bunch, who are willing to share their experiences and talk about what works for them. Have fun and play safe!

About Anal Sex - Questions and Aswers

Why would anyone want to have anal sex?

For many people, anal sex is the ultimate taboo. Buttfucking makes it sound crude and dirty, sodomy sounds technical. In the 1990's, anal sex has been given the bad rap because HIV , the virus that causes AIDS , is most easily transmitted by anal intercourse. But some people love anal sex. Others hate it. Others haven't tried it yet and are curious. And many people are attracted to it precisely because it's so taboo and mysterious.

What is analingus?

One other part of the body that some people enjoy licking, or having licked, is the anus. The anus has half the nerve endings in the pelvic region and many people find touching it to be sexually arousing. Although we haven't mentioned safer sex yet as part of this series, we will here: the anus and rectum carry many diseases that live quite benignly in your lower digestive tract, but which can be harmful in your mouth or stomach. Performing anilingus is a very risky behavior for a variety of bacterial infections.

Does anal sex hurt?

Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. With enough lubricant and enough patience, it's entirely possible to enjoy anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life. However, some people may never like it, and if your lover is one of those people, respect their limits. Don't force the idea upon them.

Can anal sex actually give pleasure?

The pleasure of anal sex is derived from many things. Doing something "nasty" appeals to many people, especially about sex. Doing something different to spice up a sex life that has become something of a bore can be part of it. And the physical sensations available during anal sex are uniquely different from anything else. The rectum is lined with nerve endings, some of which signal the brain to 'reward' you with good feelings when stimulated. For men, the prostate gland can be a source of powerful pleasure. And for a thrusting penis, the ring of the anus can be a new and strong sensation to enjoy.

What do I need to have anal sex?

The most important pieces of advice anyone can give on anal sex are: lubricants, condoms, and patience. The most commonly available lubricant is Jelly, a greaseless, odorless substance available at most drug stores. Better lubricants include Astroglide, ID, Wet, or ForePlay, some of which are available at better drug stores, and most of which are available in some form at adult toy stores.

Do not buy anything that is oil-based. Make sure the lubricant you buy is rated "condom compatible." Nothing else will do. Oil-based lubricants such as vaseline or baby oil will destroy a condom long before you're done having sex. And many oil-based sub-stances will coat the lining of the rectum, providing a haven for many potential infections.

Do I have to use a condom?

Even if you're sure that both you and your partner are disease- free, you should still use a condom. The rectum is home to lots of infectious bacteria that can cause burning and urethritis of the penis. It will also help you clean up afterwards.

Anal sex should not be messy. Most first-timers fear that it will be, but most people can tell when they have to go. A condom will help with cleanup, of course, and if you're really concerned, a commercial enema, like Fleet, will help beforehand.

How do we prepare for anal sex?

Patience is the third and final thing you need to make anal sex possible. Initial penetration is always the most difficult part of anal sex -- the anus is a tight ring of flesh at the opening of the rectum designed to control the elimination of bodily waste. It is partially under voluntary control, and partially reflexive to stimulation. Your partner has to relax, and you have to go slow to coax it into opening enough to receive your penis.

Start with a well-lubricated finger or a slim (smaller than your penis) dildo. The dildo is more realistic, but your fingers can flex and feel what they're doing inside her ass. Slide one finger in slowly, letting her adjust to it. Take your finger all the way out, then push it back in again. Give her anus time to get used to this kind of activity. Then slide a second finger in. Consider how big your penis is and realize that two fingers is probably enough.

What position should we use for anal sex?

For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important. Many women want to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs. Other like to lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be penetrated while lying on their sides. Choose what's best before you start.

As always, control yourself. Take your time and use lots of lubricant. People who like anal sex say that "too much lube is almost enough." Listen to her -- if she tells you it starts to hurt, back off.

Eventually, a time will come during your lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of your cock to 'pop' into her. If she is completely relaxed, that pop should feel completely painless. Now just because you're inside her is no reason to start pounding away like mad. Let her body adjust. Take your time. Eventually you will both be ready for more.

Can I get pregnant from anal sex?

It is not technically possible to get pregnant from anal sex; there is no way for semen to get from the rectal tract to the vaginal tract.

However, anal sex is still not a very good method of birth control . Semen leaking from the anus after intercourse may drip across the perineum (the short stretch of skin separating vulva and anus) and cause what is known as a 'splash' conception. The failure rate for this is surprisingly high! 8% of couples of who use anal sex as a method of birth control have babies each year.

What if I don't like it?

You may find that anal sex just isn't for you. That's fine. Nothing says that you have to indulge in something that doesn't make you feel good.

Female Erogenous Zones

Her Neck

Her neck must be one of the hottest spots on the female body. You have never found a method more effective than hot passionate kisses on the neck to turn a good night kiss into an invitation for brunch. There are several things to keep in mind here … but most importantly, control yourself! Hickies may have been the big thing when you were younger, but most women hate them, especially when they have to wear turtlenecks for a week! If you must suck for blood, keep the hickies to places that are usually covered by clothes. Try to have a moist mouth, but don't slobber! Cover different areas of her neck with tender kisses, using the areas under/behind the ears for extra stimulation. Light nibbling and tugging usually work really well also. Start out soft and gentle as she gets into it, slowly go harder and wilder to light that fire of passion within her.

Her Ears

Bundles of nerve endings are in and around the ears, making them ultra-sensitive to your touch. Use the pads of your index finger and thumb to massage the outer ears with slow, firm movements. Gently squeeze the earlobes. Explore the area behind the ear with your lips and tongue, and then exhale deeply but gently while you keep nibbling. Don't be shy about making noise while you're lingering there, the sound of your breath and moans is a huge turn-on for most women. Make sure to remember there is a fine line between sensual ear play and “wet willies”. Very few women enjoy having someone's tongue jammed down their ears!

Her Lips

The number one mistake guys (especially married or in long term relationships) make during sex? Not enough kissing. Women love to kiss, and many of them complain that guys just don't spend enough time on it. But don't just kiss more, also do it better. Try varying the intensity (kiss her softly, then more passionately, then slow it down again). When you're done with her lips, move on to her cheeks, eyelids, forehead, nose, neck, or earlobes (stressing neck and ears). Don't get dull doing the same thing over and over; make sure to mix up your style. If you generally move your hands all over her body when you kiss (which, by the way, is really good), try kissing her for several minutes without letting your hands roam (focus all you passion on the kiss), and let her indicate when she's ready to move on.

Her Scalp

You've noticed that a lot of women play with their hair? It's not just a nervous habit; they do it because it feels good. Chances are she's wishing you would play with it, too. The scalp can be very sensitive to stimulation, and since she's probably not expecting you to lavish any attention on it, surprise her. Having her hair brushed can be a very sensual experience. Or run your fingers through it as you're kissing her, or, simply caress her scalp gently with your hand. Get some bonus points for washing or blow-drying, just leave the actual styling to her - you'll never get that thing with her bangs to work out right. On the other hand, some women have phobias when it comes to having their head touched; start out slow so your partner has a chance to stop you if she is one of those.

Her Breasts

Breasts are familiar territory for most men and they're fun, so it's unlikely you'll shortchange them. The mistake you're more likely to make is giving them too much (or too vigorous) attention before she's ready. Over-stimulating the breast can be numbing or painful for women during some parts of their menstrual cycle. Try taking the less-is-more approach. Touch her breast softly, then lift your hand away for a moment, and then continue. That allows her to have the important moment of anticipation. Stick to indirect stimulation of the nipples until they become aroused (hard) and don't just focus on the bull's-eye; same concept as before - anticipation.

The entire breast is rich in nerve endings and all breasts have the same number of nerve endings. Thus, the woman with smaller breasts may experience increased sensations per touch. This results from a condensed amount of nerve endings. All breasts respond with time; lovers, go slow, take your time and slowly fondle the breast. Areas that are especially sensitive to touch include the nipple and the areola (the pinkish area that directly surrounds the nipple). One of the most sensitive spots, which is often ignored, is the underside of her breast. When kissing and touching her breasts, try starting around the outside and moving inward with slow circles. She may push your mouth or hand directly to her nipples, but don't let her do it, just continue moving slowly towards her nipple. Take your time; she is not going anywhere, so tease her. This whole process should take at least a few minutes. Next, wet the tip of your finger and lightly touch and roll her nipple around. Then, very lightly, using your fingertips, squeeze the nipple between them and when they are nice and hard, bring your mouth in. Note: some women enjoy nibbling and rougher play, while others are really sensitive and prefer light soft touching. Find out her preferences by asking or watching her reactions.

Her Other Soft Spots

Here is where you can be really creative. Try tenderly kissing or caressing the backs of her knees, the insides of her arms, her inner thighs, or her palms. Women love to have these areas gently stroked, kissed, licked, or blown upon (be gentle on these areas, they are made of very soft tissue). Gentle stimulation is usually more arousing than pressure that's hard or rough. Catching her off guard can be half the fun. A lot of people don't realize that having a tongue going up their inner arm is going to be erotic. Again, we must stress that skin is the largest organ; there is lots to explore, so get at it!

Her Clitoris

It is located at the top juncture of her inner vaginal lips, a small knob of pink flesh. Women like different amounts of direct stimulation on their clitoris. Some women will adore it if you suck hard on their exposed clitoris, others would shriek in pain. You may encounter a woman who is completely unable to take direct stimulation of her clit; the goal is still the same, but you'll have to stimulate it indirectly, such as through her labia. Often, what is unacceptably rough at first may be fine after she's very excited (i.e., very wet). The fact is, most women need a good bit of arousal before having their clitoris targeted, but once they have reached that point, that's where many women want you to devote your attention. Refer to the diagrams if you are unsure of where the clitoris is located.

Her Perineum

The perineum is the area between the vagina and the anus, it is very sensitive for a lot of women and it often goes unexplored. It's made from tissue similar to the vaginal lips so there are a lot of nerve endings there. It also has an element of intimacy that might turn her on. Some girls are scared of or disgusted by anal play, so if this is the case, ease her mind by reassuring her that you are not going to do anything she is against. It's not a part of the body that's normally exposed, so she will feel like she's giving you special privileges, which can be exciting. This area is like any other area you first encounter that is sensitive, stick to a light touch at first and hold off until she's been aroused for some time. For a smoother experience, try using a little artificial lubricant or massage oil.

Her Buttocks

Ready to get to the bottom of things? A lot of women like their buttocks attended to, and with more vigor than you might think. You can use pressure on a butt that you wouldn't use on a breast. It's not sensitive the way a nipple or a clitoris is so you can knead them and squeeze them. Many women are self conscious about their behinds, so spending time here will show her that you like it, and hopefully allow her to be more comfortable with herself and you.

The Small Of Her Back

Don't make the mistake of making her breasts the only stop on your way to the main event. That's what she's expecting. Surprise her by asking her to lie on her stomach and massage her lower back. Besides being rich in nerve endings, the small of the back has pressure points where stress can accumulate. A massage there might not turn her on in the same way that sucking on her nipple or rubbing her clitoris will, but it'll feel good and help release stress. What's more, it could even help with arousal, by increasing blood flow and engorgement in the pelvic area. Start by applying steady but moderate pressure with your fingertips and if she likes it, work up to a deeper massage. It never hurts to throw in a few kisses there as well. One technique we have learned usually works well with a massage is; while you are massaging her, take a minute or so to kiss her neck, then run your tongue very softly down her spine. After this you can continue with the massage or "go for lunch!"

Her Fingers and Toes

A little creativity can go a long way when sex is involved. Here's a tip: Try sucking on her fingers or toes during foreplay or intercourse. (Granted, unless you're a contortionist, the toe thing may be a bit rough during intercourse, but you can usually find her fingers.) They're a lot more sensitive than you might think and for whatever reason, a relatively large area in the brain receives sensation for them. Lightly kissing or passionately sucking them, especially combined with the sensations you're causing in her genitals, can be incredibly erotic.

Im Back !!

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Ok so I'll look for more information and them I'll posted for all of you !

The G-Spot & Female Ejaculation

The Excitement of Giving Pleasure

Impediments To Intimacy

One major impediment to intimacy between men and women is the speed with which many men become aroused and reach orgasm as opposed to the slower, more leisurely lovemaking women need if they are to have a similar experience. The true lover however will take the time to allow a woman to reach her full sexual pleasure potential. G- spot aware men benefit from the excitement of truly giving emotional as well as maximum physical intimate pleasure to a women.

Few Women Know Their Own Sexual Response

I 've had very interesting discussions with retired sex surrogate, Dr. Jerry DeHaan, who did much of the original research for Beverly Whipple's classic 1982 book "The G Spot". Dr. DeHaan shares many experiences as a licensed sex surrogate about inorgasmic women experiencing their first orgasm via his G spot stimulation. DeHaan also shares experiences of women coming to him for counseling (only through a referral from other licensed therapists) who had experienced their G spot or ejaculation but were terrified not knowing that it was a normal part of female sexuality.

Jerry DeHaan as a surrogate took women on a wonderful journey of self-discovery. Women learned about their bodies, the male body and shed ingrained embarrassment and concealment of their physical selves and came instead to find comfort in their natural sexuality. We need more education on meaningful, loving, intimate sexuality in our society rather than our immature tease and titillation. Many women seek much more than just brief thrusting sex. We believe men, through education and open honest discussion, can be empowered to be much more powerful lovers. Caring men would also find the excitement of giving pleasure just as fulfilling as a fast male orgasm.

G-Spot History

Ancient cultures accepted what we've only recently "found". As early as the 4th century B.C., writings have been found that speak of the distinction between a woman's "red and white fluid". Even American Indian folklore mentions the "mixing of male and female fluids" from a female during sex.

In the 20th century, however, Western culture moved toward the belief that women were incapable of such intense orgasm, except by clitoral manipulation. This was reinforced by Masters & Johnson whose research claimed that a woman's clitoris was the only source of female pleasure, even though many women have found that to be far from the truth.

This misguided notion of a woman's sexual potential persisted until 1950 when an article by a Berlin gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg discussed the G-spot area. In his original work he reported that some women had a spot on the inside of the front wall of the vagina which, when firmly stimulated produced intense orgasms and in some women ejaculation of something thicker and slicker than urine during the strongest contractions of their orgasms.

No further serious research was done until Perry and Whipple's 1978 documentation and extensive study which confirmed the article of Dr. Grafenberg. Most sexologist now believe every woman has a G-spot but it may simply be unresponsive from lack of stimulation. It can be made to learn to be responsive, however, by proper stimulation.

Beverly Whipple, coauthor of The G-Spot , says there are two reasons the "spot" was overlooked by so many physicians: "First, because it's on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina, which is an area that's not palpated, and second, when it is palpated you get a sexual response and doctors are trained not to stimulate their patients sexually. But the gynecologists who palpated it with our direction all found it and said 'My goodness! It's there! You're right!' "

Every physician who examined the area not only found it, Whipple claims, but reported back to the researchers that they subsequently found it in every woman they examined!

Two Types Of Orgasm
It is now known women can experience two kinds of orgasm. But they are not clitoral vs. vaginal as some have reported.

1.The most common (some times called clitoral) also involves the vagina since the clitoral stimulation also produces contractions of the pubococcygeal (PC) muscle supporting the pelvic floor which is where "vaginal" contractions are felt.

2. G-spot and Uterine. G-spot stimulation results in orgasmic contractions around the uterus, which is several inches above the pelvic floor.

Later research has shown that women who can orgasm both ways have even deeper, more powerful blended orgasm, resulting from contractions in both areas at once.

One women described the difference this way: " I have two DISTINCTLY different types of orgasm. The G-Spot orgasm tends to result in my vaginal walls contracting and fluid being expelled. The clitoral orgasm can either have fluid expelled or be "dry" but both result in my uterus contracting, not my vaginal walls. And both types can either be whole body or localized. I state all this because it seems as if some posters are implying there is only one kind of orgasm and that it always involves uterine contractions and I'm here to tell you that that is not always true. So good luck in experiencing ALL the kinds of orgasms there are for women!"

Location Of G-spot

The G-spot lies directly behind the pubic bone within the front wall of the vagina. It is usually located about half way between the back of the pubic bone and the front of the cervix, along the course of the urethra and near the neck of the bladder, where it connects with the urethra. The size and exact location vary. Imagine a small clock inside the vagina with 12 o'clock pointed towards the navel. The majority of women will have the G-spot located between 11 and 1 o'clock a few inches inside the vagina.

Unlike the clitoris, which protrudes from the surrounding tissue, it lies deep within the vaginal wall, and a firm pressure is often needed to contact the G spot in its unstimulated state. Usually it is a lima- bean sized, spongy area which responds to stimulation by hardening and swelling as blood rushes to it.

Dave's Experience With Women

First of all let me define a G-spot orgasm the best I can from women that have discussed it with me as well as my readings and research. G-spot simulation usually results in an initial feeling of needing to urinate, which may last a few seconds to 30 sec. This is because the spot is so close to the bladder.

Many women stop the stimulation fearing the urination feeling. BUT, I assure you the feeling will change to a highly sexual pleasurable feeling. The resulting orgasm is much deeper within the body than a clitoral orgasm.

From women who have shared their expereinces with me, there are two common descriptions: either a very, very powerful explosion that keeps on going and going (one woman who is very highly orgasmic told me it was the best she ever had) or less intense but an experience of deep, rolling orgasms.

In one case, after about an hour of my massaging her G-spot, as my hand was getting tired, I moved away to her clit and she wanted me back on her G-spot, saying that while clitoral stimulation would result in a one time big bang, the ongoing smaller, almost continuous G-spot orgasms were more enjoyable.

Techniques For Stimulating G-Spot

Lie back with your knees pressed up to your chest. In this position, your vaginal depth will shorten and even small fingers should be able to reach the G-spot. With a partner, lie on your side with one leg drawn up to your chest as your partner enters you from the rear. He should be able to hit the spot.

The G-spot responds to pressure rather than to touch. Gently stroking is not likely to get any results. It's more like massaging a pea under a mattress - one has to compress the flesh to find it.

Insert fingers and bend them gently up, around and behind the pubic bone. Beyond the rather rough-surfaced tissue immediately behind her pubic bone, your fingertips will encounter a very soft, smooth area. Go very slowly and let her tell you what she feels as you explore the smooth area, which will feel to you like the inside of a very slippery mitten. When you straighten your fingers and reach further inside, you'll encounter a hard, rubbery structure that feels like an erect nipple pointing south. This is her cervix. The G-spot is somewhere just his side of the cervix, about an inch beyond the mitten, in the flesh immediately in front of the vagina.

Imagine you're holding a tennis ball on those two of three inserted fingers. An area about the size of a grape in the center of the tennis ball is what you're trying to reach. It can be anywhere along that two-or-three inch long area between the pubic bone and the cervix. Explore slowly, allowing for feedback front he woman - let her guide your fingers with her words if she can feel the stimulation. The G-spot responds to pressure rather than to touch. Gentle stroking is not likely to find it. It's more like massaging a pea under a mattress - one has to compress the flesh to find it.

When you reach in from the front with the woman on her back, the heel of your hand is over her clitoris while your fingers hook around her pubic bone. Pull upwards, as if you're trying to lift her off the bed. Do this with the same sort of rhythm you'd use fucking, and keep your fingers hooked, so they press deep into the tissue. Once you know where it is you can try using your penis on it, but for good G-spot orgasm, she may prefer your hand. In face-to-face intercourse, the penis may not stimulate the spot enough to do any good, although some positions, such as the one where the women draws her knees close to her chest, may increase the changes for a G-spot orgasm.

Female Ejaculation

While all women have a G-spot, it has been estimated between 10% and 40% of women are capable of ejaculation. The G-spot need not be stimulated for ejaculation to occur, but most women say that their first ejaculation experience came from massaging their G-spot. The response varies from a light sprinkle to a huge gush. I have experienced women who gushed huge amounts of fluid 10 feet out.

Researches have found that although many women feel a slight need to urinate right before ejaculation, the fluid is definitely not urine. Nor does it come from the Bartholin gland which produces a milky, odorless secretion that helps lubricate the vagina when sexually aroused.

Today we now know that the difference between women who squirt and those that don't is in the number and size of their pariurethral glands. They are analogous to the hundreds of tiny glands that constitute the male's prostate gland and are responsible for 15% to 50% of the fluid a man ejaculates.

The myths that female ejaculation is the result of poor bladder control, or excess secretion which sweats from the vaginal walls and pools in the back of the vagina to squirt out during the strong muscle contractions of orgasm, have been proven wrong. For decades many women felt it dreadfully abnormal and tried to hide or avoid it. Physicians in their ignorance tried to cure it. By questioning many women, researchers have established that about one woman in five ejaculates (through her urethra rather than her vagina), some of the time but not always. The stimulation of the G-spot produces both her ejaculation and her deep uterine contractions.

Besides the famous study of Whipple and Perry of Dr. Ernest Grafenberg's 1950 article about the spot, in Nova Scotia researcher Ed Belzer explored the chemical composition of female ejaculate. In Florida Helen Robinson and Sharon Pietranton worked with groups of ejaculating women. At first American gynecologists, routinely trained not to sexually stimulate their patients, were astonished that Dr. Grafenberg was on such sensual terms with his. Generations of gynecologists have tied to cope with "hypersecretors" blaming it on poor bladder control.

"Women's response to direct stimulation of the G-spot is identical to the response of males when their prostate is stimulated," Perry and Whipple observed. The first few seconds of stimulation produces a strong feeling that they have to urinate. This feeling lasts for two to ten seconds, maybe longer, before changing to a distinctly sexual enjoyment. Whipple felt that most women when faced with this sensation hold back their sexual response to keep from wetting on their partners. Perry theorized that this may explain why up to 25% of American females never have orgasms - they've learned early that to avoid the embarrassment of urinating during sex, they have to hold back.

Women with well-toned PC muscles are more likely to ejaculate and generally have better orgasms. Many women ejaculate easier after they've "primed the pump" with a few orgasms, others come on their first one. The common theme seems to be extreme arousal and direct G-spot and clitoral stimulation for an extended time.

It is common for writers of porn films and erotic books to make it appear that male ejaculations "shoot" or "spurt". But Kinsey's observations of hundreds of male ejaculators showed that in about 75% of men the semen merely exudes from the meatus or is propelled with so little force that the liquid is not carried more than a very small distance beyond the tip of the penis. In short, most males ooze rather than shoot. Their semen doesn't spurt, it dribbles out.

Similarly, if a woman expels fluid other than urine from her urethra, she shouldn't have to make it squirt for it to qualify as ejaculation. The fact that many women don't notice it since its not a powerful squirt contributes to the underreporting of female ejaculation. Other women, including one of my (Dave's) partners, very strongly squirt large amounts of fluid while having powerful G-spot orgasms.

Helen Robinson reported that one of her research subjects was highly orgasmic and continued to ejaculate copiously with each orgasm and would ejaculate a quart of fluid in one session. A teaspoon of fluid is the more common amount, but a cupful is not uncommon.

At Dalhousie University professor Ed Belzer found varying concentrations of acid phosphatase in the women's ejaculate. This chemical had previously been thought to be produced only by males, and in some courtrooms was accepted as evidence to support a rape charge. Belzer's discovery proved that it wasn't urine and also pointed out the existence of a genuine female prostate-like gland.

Not only are the fluids they produce chemically similar, the female prostate acts like the male prostate: when rhythmically prodded, it swells up and then discharges fluid through the urethra. To reach a male's prostate gland, you have to reach in through his anus. In the female, you reach in - at virtually the same angle - through her vagina.

There has been debate whether the ejaculation originate from the bladder or from the urethral glands and ducts. Both may be the case in that a small amount of fluid may be released from the urethral glands and ducts in some instances and mixed in the urethra with a clear fluid that originates in the bladder.

Tests have been done where the bladder is drained of urine before the sexual stimualation and resulting ejaculation. Even though their bladders had been drained, they still expelled from 50 ml to 900 ml of fluid through the tube and into the catheter bag. The only reasonable conclusion would be that the fluid came from a combination of residual moisture in the walls of the bladder and from post draining kidney output.

Regardless, a number of tests have chemical analysis have been done on the fluid. Exactly what it is, isn't known but there is a consistency of results that show a greatly reduced concentration of the two primary components of urine, urea and creatinine, in the expelled fluid.

As Unv of So Calf tests showed the results were clearly "out of the range" to be defined as urine.

But women's sexuality still remains a mystery (as women do in other ways ... as the exact source and exactly what the fluid is remains natures secret.

Male and Female Sex Organs Have Common Origin

An anatomy lesson may help understand why ejaculation is not as far fetched as it may seem. There really is not that much difference between male and female sex organs. In-vitro we all start out as female. If we get certain chemicals our development changes to male and our female organs dry up and we develop male.

Have you ever wondered what that line was on the back side of a penis? Or, have you ever looked? It is the remnants of a man's vagina when he was a female early in gestation. Likewise the very sensitive spot on the back of a mans penis, where the foreskin attaches is the remnants of the female clitoris.

Sexual development in the womb it is not always perfect. The most extreme problem is those whose gender does not match their sex organs (transsexuals). Since male and female are so similar, surgery can reassign one's sex to match gender. Yes, it is done all the time, both male to female and less frequently female to male.

The same but much less dramatic natural event seems to occur in some women in which they develop small prostate like glands that are capable or producing ejaculation. Lab tests show the female ejac is very similar in composition to the prostate fluid within the male ejac (semen which comes from prostate mixed with sperm etc), but without the sperm in a female.

Exploring Threesomes

This article will explore the world of threesomes: what kinds of people participate and why, some of the different types of threesomes, and its advantages and disadvantages.

Who Wants to be Part of a Threesome?

People pursue threesomes for various reasons. First, the most common, are men who are looking to fulfill the fantasy of being with two women at the same time, especially if the women perform bisexual acts during the course of the threesome, otherwise known as "show time". ? There are also women who want to experience being with two men at the same time (which is not as uncommon as you might think).

Furthermore, there are those looking to experiment, usually during college years (otherwise known as the "experimental years"), or those who have recently been divorced after being married for a lot of years, particularly those who married at a very young age. They may have missed out on the experimental years when they were younger, so they look to make up for it later in life.

Lastly, there are very sexual men and women who are looking for more variety and merely want and need more than the typical "one on one" sex act - at least once in a while.

Why Would Someone Initiate a Threesome?

A man or woman might be looking to please their partner by fulfilling his/her fantasies or bi-curious tendencies, and so agrees to a threesome with another person. Of course, there is the bisexual person who is simply looking for that occasional excitement of a threesome.

For many bisexual women, having sex with a man is like having dinner . dinner is something you have every night. However, having sex with a woman is like having dessert . something you don't necessarily have every night, but something you may treat yourself to on occasion!

Swingers (who are now referred to as people who live alternative lifestyles) will often enjoy any kind of an orgy, including threesomes. So a swinger would definitely have reason to initiate a threesome. Also, a person who is looking for a lot of attention and wants to be the so-called "meat in the sandwich" is a prime candidate for initiating a threesome.

Different types of threesomes

The most common threesome is that of a man and two women. The second most common threesome is a woman with two men. However, there are threesomes consisting of the same sex (i.e. 3 men or 3 women). There are also the threesomes that include bisexuality, and then there are those that don't; some just want to experience their partner in a physically intimate situation with another person.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Threesomes

For very sexual people, or for those who are bi-curious, a threesome can genuinely be an electrifying experience. However, for those who are agreeing to a threesome solely for the purpose of pleasing their partner (but who are not really into it), there can be repercussions.

A very common example of a negative experience is of a spouse or a partner in a serious relationship, where there is LOVE involved, with the very real potential of jealousy affecting the ongoing relationship. As much as you may want to fulfill your partner's fantasy because you love him or her, beware...this is not an easy task when you are in love. Even for the most sexual people, love creates problems when it comes to threesomes, and even if you are bisexual and want to have a threesome for selfish reasons, it can still be very difficult for you to see your loved one participating in a sexual act with someone other than yourself.

However, if you are not in love with your partner and may just be having a sexual fling with that person, then a threesome can be simply orgasmic, because you can enjoy the excitement without the jealously, and if bisexuality is involved, you can also benefit from the best of both worlds!

So far I've been primarily focusing on the couple. Now let's talk about the outsider, the "guest". Being the outsider in a threesome is probably the best position to be in (no pun intended), because there is no love or emotion involved, you are there exclusively for the sex act. In most cases, the guest gets treated like a princess or a prince (as mentioned earlier, the meat in the sandwich), because the guest is the source of exhilaration and variety for the couple. Many times the guest is the couple's fantasy come true, and that's a pleasing feeling for the outsider. So, if you like a lot of attention, and if you like to fulfill other people's fantasies, definitely consider being the guest in a threesome. ?

The most common difficulty in being the guest in a threesome is when he or she is participating with a couple who has never had a threesome together previously; especially if you are a female guest of a couple in which the wife or girlfriend is not bisexual or bi-curious, and the husband or boyfriend tries to push a bisexual act on his partner when she's really not into it! It really puts the female guest in a very uncomfortable situation. This can easily cause an argument between the partners.

In some cases one partner will start to get jealous watching his or her partner making love with another person, which obviously results in making it a distressing situation for everyone involved. I've literally seen wives end up in tears and couples end up not talking or fighting. Needless to say, the guest ends up feeling responsible.

Initiating the Topic with your Partner

First of all, as I've emphasized earlier, if your partner is your spouse or someone you are truly in love with...my advice is, "Don't even consider it!" If you are adamant about sharing this particular fantasy with your loved one, I may have a happy medium for you . keep it as a fantasy only, but share it with your partner. In other words, during sex with your partner you can initiate sex talk about threesomes. Be honest and ask your partner to participate in the sex talk as well, and ask him or her to make up stories for you too, stories consisting of the two of you with a third person. That way you're always including your partner in your fantasy, without the repercussions that can occur from actually doing it. Your partner may even surprise you and end up being more turned on then you could have imagined. He or she may even have a few fantasies of his or her own to share with you, via sex talk. I sincerely suggest that you take my advice on this matter, as I've seen threesomes backfire way too many times with married couples or couples in a serious relationship! Trust me, you don't want to learn the hard way, it can end your marriage or a wonderful relationship, and a threesome is simply not worth that. So, consider keeping your threesomes just between the two of you!

Now, on the flip side, for couples who are not married or necessarily in love, or who are absolutely sure that pursuing a threesome will not jeopardize their relationship . you can initiate a conversation with your partner suggesting such. First of all, honesty about your desires is the best policy, but keep in mind that this is a very delicate topic and must be treated as such . with great discretion.

You must first use common sense. I don't know your partner, but you do! Is he or she the type who might participate in such? Is he or she a very sexual person? Is he or she one who has been known to experiment sexually? Has he or she ever talked about fantasies with you? Has he or she ever expressed being bi-curious? All of these questions are essential in determining whether or not your partner should be asked to participate in a threesome. As a hypothetic example: Suppose your partner is a woman who teaches elementary school, who was a virgin until she was 25 years old, and you are only the second man she's ever had sex with in her entire life; with someone like her, I suggest that you forget the idea of a threesome, limit it to sex talk. Unless, she's the total opposite in bed, which is rare, but it does occur on occasion. So, if you have a real wild card on your hands in bed, then that's a horse of a different color. Otherwise, don't pursue a threesome with her, unless you're prepared for the possibility of the relationship ending, or at least starting a huge fight.

Now, once you've truly found a potential partner to approach, suggest a threesome while you're already engaging in sex. The chance of hearing the answer you want to hear is much more likely to happen if you ask him or her while he or she is already hot!!! There's no right or wrong way to suggest a threesome. It truly depends on the people involved and the relationship you have. My only advice is that if and when you do propose it to your partner, make it perfectly clear that your desire for the threesome is not in any way, shape, size, or form, a result of your partner being inadequate! So, please be careful and make sure that you emphasize that it's just a sexual fantasy, and that it wouldn't be same without him or her.

Fortunately, most women are well aware that the overwhelming majority of men would give their right arm to be with two women at the same time. ? However, men, on the other hand, tend to find it difficult to understand why a woman would want a threesome with another man. Women, you have to be especially cautious, because men can be so much more insecure than they admit they are. So, when you do suggest it to your man, you might want to tell him that you are simply an extremely sexual woman (which alone will turn him on) and that you have many sexual fantasies (which will excite him even more), but you have no desire to fulfill any of them without him. That will boost his ego, which will hopefully help him see your suggestion of a threesome from a different prospective, a non-threatening one.

Selecting a Third Party

There are pros and cons in choosing a friend or a stranger. On one hand, you would probably feel more comfortable with someone you know - but on the other hand, you're taking the chance of possibly ruining that friendship if complications or jealousy arise. Even if the threesome turns out to be successful, it may still make all parties involved feel uncomfortable in the future if it was with a good friend. (Note: I would advise, whether you invite a friend or a stranger to join you, that you'll still take the same safety precautions.)

So, I do not recommend a threesome with a friend! An acquaintance, however, is a different story. There are some very attractive, clean, well-educated, successful people out there who happen to be very sexual. Just because they are not already a friend of yours doesn't mean that they are not worthy of being your third person in a threesome.

As far as having a threesome more than once with the same person is concerned, again I would have to say it really depends on the people. It depends if the couple is secure enough, if the third party is non-threatening in any way, and whether or not this is something the couple initially wanted to do it as a one-time experience or if this is something the couple planned to do on a somewhat regular basis. These are topics that simply cannot be generalized, because every situation is different. I've had my share of one-time affairs as the guest that worked out great. Yet, I've also known various couples throughout the years that I would spend time with regularly, and that worked too. So, you really have to see where the first experience takes you, and all three parties obviously must want the same thing. If the experience was great and there was no jealousy involved, especially if the guest is not a good friend, I would definitely go for it again! So, it truly depends on the circumstances.

Where to Find a Third?

A swing club is a great source to find others who are looking to experiment and fulfill fantasies; they are still out there (although perhaps not as many as there were years ago). To find swing clubs, simply go to any search engine and type the words, "swing club", once you bypass some of the swing dancing sites, you'll see many sites that actually refer to sex clubs. Another option is the Personals on the Internet; they too are a great means for finding someone for a threesome. The Internet Personals are not only designed for couples looking for love, they are usually broken down into categories, so you can search for what you are specifically looking for. You can also exchange various photos online first, and you can chat via email or telephone until you feel comfortable enough to meet, for example you can try www.IwantU.com. Do NOT go to a regular bar or night club and try to pick up someone who you think might be a likely candidate. That's a really good way to very possibly embarrass yourself, not to mention, get slapped! ?

What's a good place for a threesome?

This is probably the easiest question to answer, and that is . wherever is most convenient for all parties involved. It seems to be more common for the couple to entertain the third person in their home. However, it certainly wouldn't be the first time that a couple would travel to the third person's home to be entertained, especially when the couple have children. I guess you can meet at a hotel, but from my many experiences, that's not too common. Unless, of course, you're at a swing club, which is the exception to the rule. Now, that can be a really exciting venue for a threesome, or a foursome, or fivesome, etc.. ?

Conclusion

Try not to participate in a threesome with someone you are in love with, or if you know that either of you become jealous easily. Instead, explore some new exciting things that just the two of you can do together in the bedroom, including sex talk about threesomes.

For those of you who are not in love and/or who are planning a threesome for the right reasons, but it's your first time and have absolutely no clue as to what to do...believe me, most of it will come naturally! Most times, it's not planned, it just happens.

One option of a threesome is to make one person the star, and let that person lay back while the other two devour him or her, making the person who is receiving at the time feel like a real prince or a princess! A great idea for a birthday present too! ? However, it's nice to take turns receiving and giving, so that everyone gets a turn to be a prince or a princess.

A crucial rule is to make sure that no one gets left out!!! Too often a spouse gives more attention to the guest than his or her partner . no, no, no. Trust me; always make sure your partner gets just as much attention as the guest does! Not doing so can literally end a marriage. An easy solution is to take turns in giving and receiving, as mentioned earlier, and be aware of how much time you spend on the guest, because when it's your partner's turn to be the prince or princess you want to make sure that he or she receives the same amount of time, maybe even a little more.

The beauty of a threesome, especially when bi-sexuality is a part of it, is that each participant can almost always be giving and receiving at all times. It's an incredibly hot experience that I believe everyone should consider trying . at least once in their life!